This year, for the first time in my life, I have felt completely free! I have finally found a “job” that I love & can make money at everyday. I have been working my behind off trying to get Journey to Hope off the ground by become a legal non-profit running on Cape Cod. I have married the love of my life, and I decided that I don’t need to fit into a specific mindset to be who I am.
One of my favorite expressions is “it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are” e.e. cummings. I was reminded by a student this week that it isn’t where we start, but where we end up that is important. It is certainly true. Where I started was wonderful, it was a strict and yet loving environment. My home was a safe spot where I told my mom everything (sometimes too much), I never lied and I tried my best to be good all the time. I had a set of friend who I always hung out with, wrote thank you cards and learned all of my manners. I also couldn’t touch my toes and was “big boned” as a child.
Much of that is still with me! I write thank you notes & love letters to everyone I know. I spill my guts out to my family and tell them the truth (we are terrible secret keepers in my family), and I am a love bug. I have set my own bedtime, and will often be asleep by the time I need to be.
But there are many things that have changed, for the better! I can now touch my toes, stretch, run & play. I have also really been expressing myself physically lately. I have altered my yoga practice, changed a few of my clothes, added a pink feather to my hair (maybe more to come this summer!), pierced my nose & gone on an apartment decorating binge! Things that, as a child, I was not allowed to do. It has been wonderful to be able to express myself in such a open way. The best part about all of this, it that my work fully supports these ideas. A lot of my yoga co-workers have dyed their hair, gotten tattoos, & found their own expression of self-love.
My friends, however, have been the biggest shift. Most of my life I have had a core set of girlfriends. Some for better and some for worse. These girlfriends and I have seen each other through many times in our lives – and some of us have grown apart. Not for any reason other than distance and lifestyle.
Wicked, a favorite musical of mine, has a song at the end “For Good.” In this song, the two lead characters split their friendship due to a number of reasons, and as they part, they sing: “because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” It has a double meaning. For good, meaning for always – as well as for the better. To all the girlfriends I have lost contact with, I have been changed for good. I thank each of you for being in my lives when I needed you, but I also thank you for moving on and finding your next adventure & set of friends.
There are people who will stay with us forever, and there are friends who come in and out of our lives. I am blessed to have been surrounded by so many friends & family my entire life. And I am now blessed to be on this new path, meeting new friends for potlucks & lunch dates to fill my personal and professional calendars!
Moving to Cape Cod has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It has given me the opportunity to fully express myself and discover who I have the potential to be. It has given me the opportunity to find out who my best & truest friends are – as well as finding new friends, young and old, in this new community of mine.
This past year was about change – and the year to come will be about growth. I have already felt growth in leaps and bounds this past month, and I am excited to see where all of it will take me! A huge part of growing up is being able to play & express yourself. I am loving this period of growing up and couldn’t be more thrilled with the direction my life has turned. As my dad always says “you have to grow old, but you don’t have to grow up!”
Here’s to hoping we all have a lifetime of play, discovery, hard work, love & dedication.
Work towards your dream, grow, play, practice yoga, laugh & be loyal.
Be dedicated and you will strive.
I am on a path to wellness, trying to spread the fire to all those I know!
Who’s with me?
Get out there – do yoga & make life sparkle!