Definition of Self-Love: Passionate, intimate & really raw



The past few months I’ve been interjecting bits and pieces of self-love all over my website. I began sharing deeper stories of a time when I didn’t love myself even one ounce, I started The Ahimsa Project (with some of the most amazing women I’ve ever met), and I took a deeper stare into the conversation of what self-love really means.

I’m not sure however that I explained to you the true definition of self-love!

The textbook definition is terrible:



1. The instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well being, especially excessive for one’s own advantage.
2. conceit; vanity.
3. narcissism


I don’t agree at all with numbers two and three. Number one is a bit closer than the rest but still not quite where it should be. In society’s eyes, the act of loving oneself can mean a number of things. It could be construed sexually, it could come from the idea of narcissism or conceit, it could be seen as selfish and harming.


In my eyes, I see self-love as a form of Ahimsa. Ahimsa simply means non-violence and within my own personal translation, I take this word to mean non-violence or non-harming towards ourselves. I believe it is important to be selfish in some form as to be self-less would be living our lives without self or purpose.


Let’s think about that one for a moment: most people who serve others are defined as self-less. I see zero value in that idea. Within my own world, I am FULL OF SELF in order to serve others. I need to know who I am, how I feel, where I come from spiritually, lovingly and internally in order to best serve those around me.


The reason I began my non-profit, Journey to Hope Yoga, was in order to serve those around me. I did so from a loving heart and an open mindset. I did NOT do this from a place of selflessness as I am deeply rooted and know my intentions clearly: to help others as often and best I am able until my days end.


You see, when you have a sense of self you are able to serve others. You are able to serve by volunteering, starting organizations, being with those in need among other typical volunteering mindsets. You are also able to serve the world better just by being you.


I watch a lot of Marie Forleo, I read all ofGala Darling’s blog posts and put myself on Christine Arylo’s subscriber list. I truly invest in what these women have to say and each of them says that “the world needs that special something only YOU have” (Marie Forleo) in their own or direct way. It couldn’t be closer to the truth…. the world needs YOU and in creating a world full of self-love you are better able to serve the world at large.


I believe in self-love….. loving myself even on the days where it’s hard to look in the mirror and opening up a conversation with myself about how beautiful I truly am both inside and out.


I believe in self-love….taking the time to meditate when I really want to lie in bed, choosing to lie in bed with my honey when I could be at yoga…..or going to yoga when I could be elsewhere. I believe in taking the time for me to be where I need to be in the present moment.


I believe in yoga, writing, expression and truly being me!


This week, Jenna Marbles (who is typically very dirty and funny) did a vlog in regards to being yourself. It is quite colorful in language, but if you’re interested it has quite a few wonderful tips….. you are the ONLY one who can be you …. so go do that and be fabulous at it.


Get out there and plan an adventure this weekend. LOVE YOURSELF by planning a fun activity either alone or with a friend/loved one. Go play, take a yoga class, meditate, buy candles and incense, get a new tattoo, put on glitter and fake eyelashes, dance, laugh, eat delicious food, spend time with yourself and maybe spend time with the ones you love, dive into a bubble bath and take the time to appreciate who YOU are.


I say we start a brand new definition of what self-love really means!! ::


Verb and/or Noun
1. The act of generosity towards yourself.
2. Being kind, loving and open within your soul in order to create a happier sense of self.
3. The act of loving yourself passionately.
4. Being the true you and taking care of yourself, even on the days when you “don’t feel like it.”
5. The translation of Ahimsa….non-violence towards yourself.
6. Kindness to yourself in order to cultivate kindness to others.


I love you…..I truly do. Each of you has your own unique spirit that you bring to the universe and I am truly grateful for all that you bring. Let’s begin to live by the newer definition and take this beautiful world by storm. We can all change the world with one action at a time. Today: start with yourself.


Keep being you, keep being beautiful and have fun with your life.


Please leave a comment below with YOUR definition of self-love. In true self-love fashion it can be as simple as your favorite self-love activity or a definition you’ve created!!

And if you feel so inclined, please leave your email address. As I work on my new opt-in, I would love to include you in my weekly Monday emails so you can learn more about the programs I’m offering and the love I send out weekly!!


Get out there– do yoga — make life sparkle!


Sat Nam,

6 thoughts on “Definition of Self-Love: Passionate, intimate & really raw

  1. Leanne Chesser

    I totally agree with your definition and description of self love. I’ve believed that for years. I’ve always said that we need to love ourselves first in order to be able to truly, wholly and healthily love others. When we love ourselves, it ripples up within us and then out to others and the entire planet. Each of our own circles touches others’ circles until the whole planet is bathed in love. That’s what I envision. Self love looks like many things. One thing is loving self talk – – we tend to be nastier to ourselves in our minds than we’d ever be to anyone else. It’s also expressing gratitude for myself! That’s not done very often, I don’t think. 

    1. Jenny R Post author

      Thank you Leanne!! I agree with each of our cirlces touching others…I love how you worded that – so beautiful. It’s so true, if we all keep spreading our own light and goodness than we will continue to make this world an even better place. I also love the gratitude idea. I AM going on my Magical Mondays post next week 🙂 Jai !

  2. Kim

    You are doing great work.  The world needs more people like you.  I really enjoyed reading about your Journey to Hope Yoga.  And I believe that we owe it to ourselves to love ourselves even if we are having a tough day 🙂

    1. Jenny R Post author

      Thank you so much Kim! Such kind words 🙂 I try every day to bring joy. It can be hard…I work full time and run my yoga and non profit….but we cannot find constant happiness and joy without the hard work and constant reminder! Self love is so important and when we work on ourselves we are better able to serve others.

      Loving your website as well, I need to spend some more time on it this weekend!

      Thanks again 🙂

  3. Vivian Mandala

    If we could convince everyone to make every action one of non-violence I think we would get very far, don’t you?
    I love the references you gave and since Marie Forleo is the only one I am currently familiar with, I can’t wait to check the others out. 🙂 So thank you for those. 
    Have you read Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly? It’s about vulnerability, connectivity and the bravery to live an authentic life – I think you’d like the book.
    Thanks for the great post, I really appreciate it! Vivian

    1. Jenny R Post author

      Thank you so much! As a B schooler I obviously love Marie but the other women are great as well. And I agree, one person and one action at a time will get us to where we need to be. 

      I have watched a lot of Brene Brown but never read her so I will go check it out! 

      Thank you 🙂


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