Finding Balance in the New

Finding balance is something so many of us deem unattainable. A foreign concept for most, and yet something we still strive for. We balance our checkbooks, our schedules and sometimes our bodies. We go to yoga. We use crystals and essential oils. We meditate. We breathe deeply.

But today I’ll let you in on a little secret: we will always strive for balance and we may never attain it.

Balance is like enlightenment, samadhi, nirvana – we reach it for a moment and then it disappears.

Balance, like yoga, is a practice. One in which we take the time to mindfully craft day by day and sometimes even hour by hour. As a single mom, business owner and yogi – there are days when none of it seems possible. Moments when I stop and wonder why I didn’t choose a more stable career. Moments of overwhelm being alone as a mama. Moments of heartache as I re-navigate the dating world. Moments my breath gets taken away and I’m not sure which direction I’m spinning.

Those are the moments I take my deepest breath and look around me for all the goodness I have in my world: a beautiful, healthy baby boy, an energetic and loving puppy, a family who loves & supports me and a yoga community that will lift me as high as they can, always.

Gratitude is the easiest way to bring ourselves back into balance.

This past week was seemingly more difficult than weeks past. I think the combination of finally opening to my authentic truth and exploring what that looks like online, in combination with Holy Week was a lot on my heart and soul. I needed more yoga, more meditation, more alone time. I needed to listen to my body and take a nap, cry into my pillow and fall asleep with Zyan on my shoulder and Apollo at my feet.

Everyone has told me in the last few months how “brave” I am for leaving a situation that was’t good for my mind, heart or soul. But it doesn’t feel brave and it never has. It felt necessary. To do what was right for Zyan and I. To do what I needed to in order to live a balanced, loving life that is full of gratitude.

The hardest part of leaving someone you love for your highest good is just that. In some sense, there is so much love. And yet in another there is heartache and pain. Opening my heart to both aspects requires balance. It requires knowing I’m finally ready to step forward and move into a new chapter in my life. But it also requires honoring where I am in this moment.

This moment is glorious. I’m sitting at my favorite cafe as I write to you. My son is playing with one of his favorite vacation babysitters until I run home to him to play in the yard. I taught yoga this morning and have just enough time to meditate alone in the studio before I go home.

Last week when my moments looked more like falling apart crying during the Maunday Thursday service and laughing as I reconnected with an old friend, I needed a different kind of balance. Ylang Ylang was in my diffuser every night to balance the energy of extreme masculine energy (yang) and the divine, surrendering feminine energy (yin). I also meditated to my new favorite mantra: Humee Hum Brum Hum. It brought me right back into my body and soul, allowing my heart to soften just enough as I released the final pieces of my brokenness into the universe. I trusted that as I let go of what no longer served me and stepped forward, that I was divinely supported.

Today I am challenging you. Challenging you to listen to your heart. Take a moment today to breathe deeply. Close your eyes. Count your breaths. Count your blessings. And then truly decide what it is you need to do to bring yourself back to balance. Is it a specific essential oil? A new meditation? A nap instead of yoga? A coffee or a walk in the sunshine? A hug from a friend or a little extra alone time?

Listen to your heart. Then step forward with love and abundance.

Happy springtime vibes coming your way yogis!

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