For each moment I age, I gain wisdom. For every challenge that arises within my non-profit, I become a better problem solver, a better director and a softer person.
This week was a challenge. Journey to Hope was supposed to host its first annual fundraiser this weekend. This past Wednesday my board unanimously decided to change the venue from a physical location to a digital one. I am thrilled with the idea of this because it means we will make more money for our start up organization (which we need!) but also saddened. I spent five long months preparing and creating this organization’s fundraiser. Journey to Hope is my “baby” and I didn’t want to see our first dream wither like a flower in the sun.
I have gotten phone calls from many friends asking if it is a canceled event. And it is not! I am so proud of my board and happy for them to be able to guide me into this decision – it will work and we will end up in a much better place! I am learning, however, that no matter how much you control your own emotions around an event like this, that not everyone else feels the same way.
My mother in particular has asked me 100 times if I’m okay and how I’m feeling.
I keep saying “I’m fine” but the truth is I am also a little bit hurt. I didn’t want to give this up. After working for so long and trying to create this beautiful, full, amazing fundraiser, a part of me feels as though I’ve failed. Part of the wisdom I have gained in getting a bit older is the idea that changing ideas and shifting is NOT failing. But as with anything, it is a lesson I am constantly learning. I did not fail. We did not fail. Journey to Hope Yoga Inc will be in a much better place now that we have moved all of our auction items online.
This weekend was supposed to be a huge weekend for me: fundraiser and color me rad 5k. I did neither one. In light of things, I wasn’t ready to run a 5k yet. In mindset, I was emotionally challenged and rearranging my thoughts into positive affirmations. I was also not sure I was physically ready. I have been running on and off trying to prepare, but it is not something I enjoy. I am determined to try again, however, and have my sight set on color me rad for next year!
Isvara Pranidhana, which means the belief in God or Universe – the idea that where we are now is exactly where we are supposed to be – can be one of the most difficult passages to grasp within the yoga sutras. It shows us that we need to weather the storms, and hold onto our dreams as we walk through the storm and into the light.
The light, however, can also be scarier than the darkness. The darkness is cold, calm and comfortable. Within the darkness, although pain, there is also comfort. We need to feel both. The dark, damp, cold days and the sunshiney days full of light and wonder. We need to work to feel all emotions, allowing ourselves the opportunity to fully feel and heal ourselves.
Shifting our thoughts is NOT a failure, and it is not giving up. Although a difficult lesson to learn (up there with “yoga is measured in decades, not days”….), it is something to constantly refer back to! Shift and change can be positive. Allow them to be what they are, allow them to create change for the better. Trust the universe.
Sometimes I feel as though I am writing blog posts to only myself – to remind myself of these lessons. But I do hope you all heed some of my ideas and advice. I realize I need to listen to myself more often, and hope that you may also gain some insight. Strangely enough, we are often the person we ignore. Our intuition and “gut instincts” will guide us to make the right decision, for that moment. I am a true believer that by sending out these positive vibes and energy, I am better able to not only help others, but also re-learn the lessons myself.
Don’t give up. Allow shift to happen. Change. Grow.
Get out there – do yoga & make life sparkle,