A few months back I promised you I would write about pregnancy on my blog, and I haven’t really held up to this promise. It’s been quite an interesting journey and even though it’s been 8 (long) months, I’m still formulating how I feel about this journey.
You see, pregnancy for me was/is a complete breeze. I feel like such a bitch saying this as I know there are many women in this world who have morning sickness, heartburn, swelling of their hands/feet, terrible things happening to their unmentionables. We also got pregnant literally right away, which as I know from many family members and friends, is not common.
However I feel like a fraud. While I love my son and I am getting so (so so so so sooooo itchy) to be a momma, being pregnant hasn’t been the easiest for me emotionally.
As a yoga teacher and someone who constantly works on self-love, I have been ignoring my own advice and forgetting to listen to my body. I have been doubting my intuition and forgetting to really breathe in the tough moments: and that’s what it’s all about… breathing in the tough moments.
When I catch myself, or if I’m caught in the act by my mother or husband, I am instantly reminded of my own advice: JUST BREATHE, YOU’RE EXACTLY WHERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE.
My son has already been teaching me a million lessons: slow down, ask for help, say yes to adventure (but remember when you need a nap), honor your body (it’s doing some amazing things), stop complaining and start re-framing, open your heart, it’s okay to cry (and laugh).
While this new body has certainly taken some getting used to: it’s not all that bad (although I have got to say, I will be really, really excited if/when my top half returns to their normal size – I drop things down there ALL the time!)
The best thing for me this past year has been my theme: Warrior Princess.
I admit, I am selfish and independent. I love to do things on my own. As a DJ I often ignore the folks trying to help me as I want to prove I can lift all my equipment on my own. As a yogi I will attempt many pinterest-like poses. As the daughter of an engineer and the sister of a cabinet maker I feel damn proud when I assemble a piece of furniture or fix something in my home.
And as of late: NONE OF THAT has happened. I have gotten to the point where I cannot bring the laundry up and down the stairs, I didn’t build my own crib and I most certainly can no longer do atravakasana. My warrior side is slowly vanishing towards the end of this pregnancy.
And my princess side, my yin, it’s creeping in there bit by bit. I’m eating more, resting more and backing off in class when I need a much needed break or a glass of water. I’m indulging in massages and reflexology these last few weeks and actually asking for help, which is something I’m not usually very good at.
YOGA has been my constant. Without it, I wouldn’t remember to breathe. I would forget to balance my yin and yang energy. I wouldn’t have felt so physically amazing during this pregnancy.
The first time I wrote this article to you, I knew I needed to FLIP MY SCRIPT. Pregnancy to me has been a blessing. I admit, it’s not easy (just ask any of my girlfriends from some of their hilarious late night group texts)… but it is a blessing. I may not be that girl who walks around glowing saying how wonderful pregnancy is every 5 minutes, but I’m certainly not someone who would complain about it every day.
My body may not be what it was a few months ago, but I can still get into a mean back bend and play on my paddleboard. Today I even did a headstand!
At 33 weeks, I’m pretty exhausted but I am trying my best to continue to stay healthy for my yogi baby boy. I’m getting beyond excited for him to arrive!! The nursery is ready, his name is picked out, my hospital/diaper bags are packed and he already has the perfect hashtag: #Ziggyisloved (that’s his nickname, but no other hints on what his actual name is).
I can’t wait to meet him and get my body back, but for today I am so grateful for all the lessons he has been teaching me thus far.
Sending you all lots of love, and the reminder to listen to yourself… always.
Namaste
Jenny
